Ways to survive doomsday

By: Jamia Kenan and Torie Holden, feature writers, Sandy Creek High School and Mill Creek High School

We all want to survive the end of the world and get those brag rights to tell everyone…Wait, there wouldn’t be anyone left to tell if you survived. It doesn’t matter; you get the point. If you want to outlast an apocalypse, we have tips for you!

The future is bright

Whether the sun is exploding or an asteroid is hitting, slap on those Ray-Bans to protect your eyes—plus, you’ll look fabulous with them! Work it!

Just keep swimming

Everyone loves to swim. Luckily, a rising sea level means you can be like a mermaid and float. Be sure to find a cute swimsuit and avoid sharks.

Don’t feed the zombies!

Zombies are not to be kept; they are not to be loved; they aren’t your pets. Don’t feed them, no matter how much they say “food” or “brains!” A kind heart will only become a tasty heart in due time, so watch out.

Hang out with the crazies

Find people who are slightly off the hinges because they always are the last to survive. Plus, no one wants to fight a psycho. So befriend the bizarre, encourage the eccentric and party with the peculiars! 

You don’t have to be fast, just don’t be last

Not a track star? Simply use someone slower than you as bait! Slow runners can be a distraction and keep you from being chomped by zombies or mutants. You can also trip these slowpokes in dire situations.

Post-apocalyptic love

Love doesn’t always conquer all, especially when your love interest is a mutant, werewolf, alien, zombie or vampire. Other-worldly lovers may have appeal, but you just can’t trust them. They will break your heart, eat your brains and suck your blood too!